From:Mr.DAN ABBEY GEORGE.
Manager Bank Of Africa,
Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire.
Country Of Origin
United States Of America.
SUB:UPDATE OF YOUR BEQUEST FUND REMITTANCE .
We could not carry on the remittance process as the little boy
Harrison Kabba could not be able to cater for this process of REVALIDATION and AUTHENTICATION process of all this related
documents into your own name as the only true co-beneficiary of the late father .
For this reason , the Director general of this bank give an instruction
that we should suspend the transfer yet but I have asked the little boy to provide your telephone number for me so that I
can be able to have a word with and advice you on how to go about the process ,if you are there can you call me immediately
on receipt of this letter before the closing hours of the bank and I will appreciate it.
Finally, the file has been recommended as UNPAID BILL waiting
till whenthe process and changing of this documentation is been done by you or Mr.Harriso Kabba and I have not seen him for
a coupled of days now .
I wait your prompt response.
Mr.DAN ABBEY GEORGE.
Manager Bank Of Africa,
Dear Mr. Dan,
I hope that you and your family are well.
I am so glad that you have finally responded to me. I was beginning to lose confidence in you and your bank. My
bank is Zion National bank and they have ATM's and give free pens when you deposit over $100.
a few things that confuse me in you letter. First of all, please respond to Harrison Kabba as a man.
He is not a "little boy", he is a strong and handsome 25 year old man. I think he would be very upset
if you called him "boy". I know he gets upset when I call him that too.
I have tried to call you
at least three times from a telephone booth and each time the phone was busy. I can only call from a phone booth
because I do not have a phone at home.
Please Mr. Dan, this has gone on long enough.
I have sent you my identification papers. I have sent you my bank account information. What more could you possibly
need? At this point, I have been advised that you should forward to me your documentation of authenticity to prove
to me that you are Mr. Dan Abbey George.
1. Please send me your passport or identification photo.
2. Please send me your official Bank of Africa papers.
3. Please send me the link to your
4. As a security precaution, please use the word "Shaq" in the subject line of your e-mails to me.
I get a lot of e-mails from single men. This way I will know that it is only you, Mr. Dan, and not some other
person trying to take advantage of a hot innocent single white woman in America.
I'm sorry to trouble
you with all this, but please understand that with all the fraud and bad business that is going on over the Internet that
I must respectfully request this of you.
Again, I am so pleased to finally hear from you.
I hope that you are well. Please trust me that I am a very professional woman with over ten years of experience
in my line of work. I am considered by many to be the best. Like myself, you sound to me like a very
professional man and I look forward to doing very professional business with you.
Love and Sunshine,
Good morning today i am justcoming from the clinic and
thet list drugs for me to buy and no money with me as i told you my mother she is not working and she has been trying her
best to see that i and my younger sister survived but it has not been easy .mumy please i don't mean to hurt you but i don't
have any other person that is close to or my family than you that is why i feel free to ask you for money please i don't say
you should teal money from him mummy but please i really need your help today i need to buy some drugs so that i can be relief
i have appointment with the bank since few days now but my sickness can not allow me to go because is much .i am just trying
to sending you mail .please mummy if i say any bad to you that made you to be angry please forgive me ok .
thank you hope to hear from you.
(We'll Try To Get Harri Connected With Shaq)
I am so sad to hear that you and your mother are sick.
I am sick too. What is your sickness? I hope you don't have the HIV. Please try the whiskey
and hot bath if you haven't. It is very strong at curing illness and it works for me.
I have to confess
to you that many times in the past when I didn't have money and I was sick, I would steal drugs from the pharmacy drug store.
I would just put the medicines in my bra when no one was looking and then maybe buy a package of gum. If I had
money I would send it to you Harri, but please remember I don't have money of my own until Shaq pays me at the end of the
month. Then I'll send you some money. Maybe you could ask Shaq for some money. He sends money to young
people in America who are dying in the hospitals with cancer or AIDS.
I can try and steal some money
from Shaq but if you want to ask him for money yourself, you can e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org. I'll pretend I don't know anything about it, because
he is telling me the he doesn't trust you. So, I will not tell him that it is you, my little lover boy, Harri.
get well Harri. I will pray to the gods of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints www.lds.org that you are healed and strong again. I want you to be a healthy
and wealthy man very soon.
Good morning and thank you for your mail .i don't mean you should
steal to send me money please i am dying here or you don't want to help i can't just write him it will look some how is only
you can introduce me to him but please i really need your help today please.
i am not hiv victim and i will not be is not
my possion neither you we are covered by his blood ok .please i ned you to send mer the money today no matter how small it
is it will help me to get some drugs here ok. i look forward to hear from you.
thank you mummy,
God bless you and your suffering family.
I feel so very guilty living with Shaq and watching him spend all his money and you living there and not having enough money
to buy medicine for your HIV. I mean he probably spends more money getting his toenails manicured than you make
in an entire year. That's just not right! I mean you deserve to get your toenails manicured too.
So, I stole $100 that he left on his dresser. The big stupid bastard. I only sleep with him
because he has promised me a big bunch of money at the end of the month. What a scam I have going on him.
What is your address? I'll mail the money to you.
I'm sending a picture that Shaq took
of me in his backyard. Do you think that I look sexy? Please let me know if you think I'm sexy. I
think that I'm pretty sexy.
All my love to you and only to you Harri, you are the real one that I love,
|This Will Cause an Oedipal Complex For Sure!
Good morning this person is not resemble you the first
picture you are big and you look younger here please i have send you the address and i will resend it again here we will keep
all discussion secret till we meet each other .
Rue 12 De Abobote Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire.
mummy you looking good i apprecxiate .
thank you ,
Thanks. Wow how sweet of you to notice that
I've lost weight. I've lost about 100 lbs since the first picture that I sent you. The doctors say that I'm losing
weight because of the HIV. I used to be pretty chubby. HA HA. Chubby is an understatement, I was a fat pig.
Since I've lost all the weight, I think I'm looking pretty hot. I'm glad you like my body.
I put the $100 bill in the mail today. I doubt that stupid ape man will ever miss it!
Dear Mr. Dan,
How are you and your family this fine day?
I trust that God has you in his hands and that you are free of sin, pestilence, STD's and famine.
To get down
to business. I get the impression that you are not accustomed to doing business with Americans. Americans
have an expectation and a standard of professional banking. We do not like to be delayed and ignored. We
have ATMs and Internet banking here to get our business done quick. Whenever I go to my bank, my personal banker
Mr. Herman addresses me as "madam" and then takes care of me right away. Sometimes he even teases me by talking to me
in a squeeky little kid voice. I have to laugh when he does that. Anyway...
So, why are you
stalling and delaying the transfer of funds from Mr. Kabba's account to mine? Why do you find this so complicated?
Is this too difficult of a transaction for you? Do I need to tell Harri to find another banker man?
Do you have a supervisor that we need to speak to?
Please if you do not respond soon, I will be advising
my young lover, Mr. Kabba, to withdraw all his money from your bank and deposit it with my bank here at Zions Bank.
We will call your supervisor and tell him that you are incompetent and impotent.
Again, my bank account information:
2302 Washington Blvd Ste 100
Ogden, UT 84401-1498.
Phone is (801) 393-9995.
Mr. Pee Wee Herman
Account Number: 773H-0L-06 (Reads "gO TO HELL" Upside Down)
I must have either a deposit in my bank or a definite date from
you when it will happen within 48 hours, or Harrison and I will be taking our business elsewhere.
Good day sir!
Subject: Get Well Soon
|Courtesy of KinkyCards.Com
I hope that you are feeling better. Maybe these will get
you back UP. Can't wait to hear from you again.
I tried to call Dan the banker again today and guess what, same
old story, the line was busy! So, I e-mailed him and told him to get his butt into gear.
Honey, I mailed you a crisp new $100 bill yesterday. The
mailman told me that it takes about 10 days to get to Africa from here. So, hold on baby, help is on the way for your
Meanwhile, I hope you have sweet dreams of my big boobs.
I want to rub them in your face someday honey!
Good morning today .i got your mail mum and i am glad please mum
you did not sent to me any information of the money to me how to i get it from western union money transfer office ?please
mummy write me back i need to hear from you i don't want to look so stupid if i go to the western union office today please
reply me now.i am waiting to hear from you.
thank you mumm,
I am so sad today. I hope that you are okay.
I am out on the street again. Shaq kicked me out of the house. He had a security camera in his bedroom and he
caught me on tape when I stole the $100 bill for you. He had sex with me one last time before he grabbed me by
the hair, kicking and screaming, and threw me out of the house and out on the curb.
When I tried to go
back to my old home, the door was locked and the landlord put a note saying that I had been kicked out for not paying the
rent. I talked to my old neighbors and found out that the cops came and took the boys to foster homes because I hadn't
been there. So, now I have no home, no kids, no lover and no money. I am writing from a computer
at the Ogden library where I have come to get out of the rain today.
Harri, what can I do? Can you send
me some money?
Tomorrow I'm going back to the Lace Nightclub and see if I can get my old job back
as a stripper. Hopefully then I'll have some money coming in. But right now I need a place to live
and some food. The only thing I have to offer for trade is my body, and I guess I'm going to have to use it again
like I always have.
(No response from either Dan or Harri, so Marie tries to re-establishes
I love you. I hope that you and your family are
fine. Did you get my letter with the $100 bill yet? I hope that it helps you. Is your HIV getting any better?
getting my old job back at the Lace Nightclub and I've been dancing the last two nights. I'm making great tips by shaking
my stuff in front of dirty old men. They've been letting me sleep and eat at the nightclub. They have a computer
here too, which is where I'm writing from. So, sweety I'm getting back on my feet. I can make $200 a night
dancing and at least that much more by doing a few extra favors for the customers, if you know what I mean. I'd
rather be giving you those favors Harri, but right now I've gotta pay the bills you know. I'm sure you understand.
Meanwhile, after I get some money saved up I'll be sending some more envelopes of cash to you.
darned old Shaq. I thought that he loved me. A $100 bill shouldn't come between lovers, should it?
I tried to get him to give me some money to you but he just kept saying that it was some sort of con game. He didn't
believe that you were for real, even after I showed him your handsome picture. I think he was just jealous because I
talked about you so much. Maybe I can find another NBA player some day.
Another guy that makes me
mad is that Dan the banker man. He never put any money my bank. Now I've bounced checks all over town because
I expected to have a little extra something in my account. Nothing! Not even an e-mail. Not
even a toaster oven. What's up with that dude? Is he a little crazy in the head or something?
me soon and let me know how you are son.
Your ever lovin' Mummy Sex Machine,
(A very uptight Harri attempting to say bye bye)
In short i don't think that you will of this kind of disgrace
to me after all my trust and hope i have in you that you will not dissapoint me,All the mail that you have writen to us show's
us that you are just joking with us all. I am sick and you never bother about my illness' is it
when our money gets
into your account in your will not dissaponit us or not, In short you have made us not to trust any body in life again
due to your actitude with us in this transaction.
All the time you keep telling us things that are not wort saying,
You told me that you are going to send to me some money for our treatment up till date i have not seen any money no
reffrence number to prove whom you are, i believe is better you hands up your hands in this transaction because we have
gotten a trustworthy person who is willing to assist us to see that this money is been transfered into his account in america
also. So please your joke with us is enough we are not kids niether we are just starting life new. You are not wort being
my mummy at all with your dubiouse charaters. And as soon as we arrive in america we will wrioe a mail.
Thank you for all your did to us.
My heart is very sad. I cannot believe that
you would turn your back on me in my time of need and difficulty. I've been there for you all this time. I'm just
asking you to stand by me for a little while until I can pull myself up by my own G-string and get back on my feet.
Do you think that you are better than me for because of what I do for a living? Is that what Jesus
would do? Turn his back on his mother just because she had to dance for a living? I don't think so.
Well Harri, I just want you to know that I will always love you. I'm so sad that you don't feel
the same toward me. Am I not sexy enough for you? I'll try and be more sexy if that will make you
come back to me.
You keep talking about some reference number for the money I sent you. I don't know
what you are talking about. I sent it by airmail and I just put an airmail stamp on it. It cost me $5 just to mail it!
So, anyway, I hope that you enjoy the cash and go out and get yourself drunk and get a lapdance. Hopefully that will
make you feel better.
I am not worried about getting the $3.2 million from Mr. Dan the Banker. So
forget about that. I don't think he's a very good banker anyway. I didn't even get as much as a free keychain
from him for opening an account. I'm going to make my own money the old fashioned way. I cleared $400 last
night and I'm just starting to get some of my regular customers back. I'm going to be America's richest and most famous
stripper someday! I wish you could be there with me when I hit the big time and I would share everything I have
with you my sweet Harri.
I hope that you and your family are well.
I know that you are mad at me for being so irresponsible by stealing money from Shaq. I called and apologized to Shaq
and we are going to go out on a date next week and talk about it. Maybe he'll forgive me and take me back in.
I apologize to you for the trouble that I got us both in. I'll ask Shaq's forgiveness for both of us.
your Mummy is doing much better. I made $300 last night. By next week I'll have enough to get an apartment.
When I get an apartment I'll go to the police and try to get my boys back. I'll just have to give the cops a few
special favors and then they'll help me out.
I put another $100 in the mail for you because I love you
so much. Did you get the first envelope? I hope that you are feeling better my sweet boy. Please
don't be mad. Please forgive me for my stupidness. I'm not a very smart woman, but I've got a lot of sex
and love to give.
Good morning today' i rcieved your mail of today and i must have
to let you know that i am no more a baby neither stupid to you at all. It just a mistake i got your email addrees and i believe
being a woman you can not dissapoint me.
Why everday you said you send to me money which i can not see
the control numbers of the money you send, Please if it is a joke is better you let me know because it is becoming too much
of you. Today again you have brought another news that you send to me $100 dollars which i have never seen anything, if realy
you did that send to me the control numbers and the question and anwser so that i can be sure that you realy send to me the
money. the time you said that you post it by mail' how did you expect me to get the money through post without no comfirmation
of the money you send.
My old mother has being so much annoyed with you and my junior
sister because they did not believe this from you, so if you do kindly send the money through wester union money transfer
and give to me the numbers through my email box and i will quickly go to the western union to collect the money because i
don't want to be disgrace by the western union money transfer people out thier.
Look mum if you believe you are for me i am also for you too.
take care and God bless you and your entire family.
I WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEXT TODAY.
Thank you so much for your e-mail today.
I just made my heart feel so much better. I have not been feeling well the last couple of days with my HIV.
you keep talking about Western Union. I do not know about the Western Union thingy. I only know about the U.S.
Male. Please tell me how to use this program and I will send the next money with them. Please teach me because
I am not very smart about these kind of things. I only went to the 7th grade in Utah.
now I have to go and do a lap dance, so I'll write more later. Send me an e-mail! Love ya baby!
Good evening to you. I recieve your mail, and as an a citizen
of america you can not tell me that you don't know how to send money through western union money transfer. All over the world
i believe that america they are the heard of any thing regards to monetry aspect, so you can not tell me that you don't know
the way to go to western union and tell them that you want to send money your DEAREST IN LOVE , I believe that what they ask
you is which name are you sending the money to, and that is just all.
I believe that i might clearifierd you on how you suposed
to send the money down to me because right now as i am writing you, i am not with me self so please do what you can do to
help me out opf this illness for god sake. I believe that if i don't hear any good message from you, This will be my
last mail to you because it is becoming too much for with your insult to me. You can send the money with my name;
Harrison with the reffrence numbers and the question and anwser.
Thanks bye for now.
i wait your good news.
Dear Hairy (oops...I forgot how to spell),
you for your e-mail. I hope that you are feeling better. I am not well. I have the fever and diarrhea.
And I am getting these splotchy things on my face. I don't think I am losing my mind, but I swear to the good god in
the sky above that I have never heard of Western Union. I have always just done my business with cash or checks and
sometimes good old fashioned trade.
But after all the good instructions that you have given me, I have no doubt
that I can figure out how to use this Western Union that you speak of. I found them in the telephone book, so I will
try and go down there tomorrow, as long as my diarrhea is not too bad.
I hope that you are not as sick
as I am. It is not very fun having the HIV. I tried the whiskey and hot water and it is not working as good
as it used to. Do you know of any other cures for the HIV? You are a very smart young man who I love very
much and I could use your help and smart advise. Please help me so that I can help you my little hairy.
I hope that you and your lovely and talented family
are well tonight. I'm doing okay but I still have the HIV diarrhea. I had a little accident on stage last night.
A lot of the customers left except for one guy who said that he actually liked it. So the only money I made was off
that guy and I gave him a lap dance that he'll never forget. He paid me $100 for it and this is the money that I'm sending
I did feel well for awhile today and went to the Western Onion. They were not very
nice people to me. The treated me like I was stupid or something. They asked why I was sending money to Nigeria
and I told them your whole story, your missing father, your lovely mother and sister, your HIV sickness and how you needed
money for some medicine besides whiskey and hot water. They tried to tell me that I shouldn't send you money.
They thought you were just telling me lies. I slapped the lady at the counter and told her never to speak to me that
way again. She started crying like a little sissy girl. I think she was just jealous because of the love that
we share. After I slapped her she acted better toward me and they had me fill out the form and give her the money.
She said she would take care of it and not to worry.
She said that you can pick it up at the Western
Union by your home maybe tomorrow.
She said to write this down,
The number is - 2457115810
The question is - "Marie's
The answer is - Height: 5' 8", Weight: 110, Measurements: 36-26-35
You're supposed to tell them that
it is from me, Marie Osmond.
I hope you understand how all this Western Union thingy works because I don't.
Please tell me when you've got the Western Union money. Did you get the envelopes I sent yet?
P.S. I really gotta go again.
(We almost succeed in getting Harry arrested!)
How are you today i recieve your mail of today with the wester
union information that you send to me, And i have gone to the wester union to meet with the manager that my mum send down
to me $100 bill, that he should get the money for me because it is for my medical treatment. And after going through the reffrence
numbers and the question and anwser he came back and told me that there is nothing like that in their computer.
Inshort you have made me to be so stupid in the present of the
western union money transfer people even i was insulted of coming to claim money that was not belong to me and they call for
me police. I try to let them know that it was my mum that send the money to me from america for my medical tratment and they
never agreed me going from the western union office, it was when i call some one that could help to go and call my old mother
and send message to my old mother and my old mother came and explain things to them in details before i was release by the
police working under the wester nunion office.
Thank you very much i am not the one to reward you for what you
have done to me at this point God is looking unto every one of us with all our good deads. You could have let me know that
you are not in the posession to my assistance in this regards. But god so love the world that i have gotten some one so special
that is ready to assist us to any lenght regards to this transaction. like as i have told you in my 3nd mail or 4th mail that
thank god that we have find some one esle who have the feelings of woman beings in america that ready to assist us, so please
for your information do not write me any more because you are not worth to be a trustworthy woman in live.
Regards to your language that you are about sending the money
to nigeria and the wester union money transfer people ask you why must you send money to nigeria, Sister have i ever told
you that i am a nigeria why must you mention nigeria in this case. please for your information i am not a nigeria neither
from serria leone residing in abidjan cote d' ivoire i believe you have our home address with you out there, so please do
not misquote me because you are not my god neither my old mother.
Thank very much for all your bad effort towards me and my family.
(It's time to say goodbye. I think we've done our
job of wasting his time and embarassing him with his own stupidity.)
Dear (Put Your Real Name Here),
This has been fun, hasn't it.
You've been telling me that you are Harrison T. Kabba, the 25 year old son a former president of Sierra Leone. About
how you have $16 million in an account and you're going to share it with me. How you are so sick and need money for
medications. You've been lying like a little dog!
So, I've been telling you that I'm Marie
Osmond, who is a famous singer here in America. I've been telling you about all my crazy happenings in life, working as a
prostitute, having an affair with Shaq who is a famous American basketball player, having diarrhea, etc., etc.
Well, I'm admitting to you that I have been lying to you all along. You started the lie and I just continued it.
I'm not Marie Osmond. I'm not even a woman. I'm just a goofy guy on a computer here in America.
So, you do whatever you can to try and steal money from people. I have to give you some credit for trying
to be creative with your stories. Sending the pictures was a nice personal touch. As a matter of fact, I am willing
to believe that the picture was actually you. Your illness story really pulled at my heart strings.
Well man, whatever your name is. I'm sorry that you had to waste all this time, go through
all this frustration, embarassment and almost get arrested. But that's what you get when you try and
lie and steal from me. I wish you well, but please try and get an honest job. Do something with your life
that would make your old mom proud. If you believe in God, do something that would make God proud of you. Just
because the people that you steal from are overseas and you never see them, doesn't mean that they aren't real and that they
aren't hurt. Lying and stealing are just wrong. You do that to people and you are going to get the
same from life.
I forgive you for trying to steal from me. I hope that you will do something
positive with your life.
(Put My Real Name Here)
Hey buddy. I just wanted to say hello. I hope that
business is going well and that you're finding new mugus for your 419 scam. I'm sure that your real mum must be very
proud of you.
IN YOUR LIVE TIME YOU CAN NEVER ANY GOOD THING BECAUSE I BEILEVE
THAT YOU HAVE NEVER IN YOUR LIFE SEE SUCH HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT IS WHY YOU SAND USELESLY MY GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE
(Maybe Donny can milk this goof a little longer)
Good day to you sir. I forgive you for calling
me an asssule. I know that you are angry and you should be because Marie and I were very mean to you.
can't be serious about the money? All this time I thought that you were playing with us. If you are truly serious
and this isn't some sort of 419 game, then you can e-mail me again. Otherwise, if you think I am a mugu, goodbye to
In the name of the God, Jesus and Mary,
Donny Keeps This Goof Alive! - Part 3